Raising a child is
like planting a rare tree: it takes time, patience, affection, and, above all,
consistency. One of the most valuable tools in this process is positive
discipline, an approach that, instead of relying on severe punishment or
authoritarianism, focuses on mutual respect, emotional bonding, and the
development of social and emotional skills from early childhood. Inspired by
principles developed by Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs in the 20th century,
and widely studied by universities such as Harvard, Stanford, and Columbia, positive
discipline is gaining ground in schools, homes, and child development centers
around the world.
Positive discipline is
based on the premise that every child, when misbehaving, is trying to
communicate something—whether it’s a need for attention, safety, or connection.
Therefore, punishment does not teach. What teaches is dialogue, example, and
firm yet gentle guidance. This approach stimulates the development of emotional
self-regulation, a crucial skill for children’s academic and social success, as
demonstrated by long-term studies from the American Psychological Association.
A practical and
inspiring example of this approach comes from Fred Rogers, the beloved educator
and host of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Instead of harsh reprimands,
Rogers communicated with children empathetically, always acknowledging their
feelings, validating their emotions, and showing them alternative ways to
express themselves. He understood that a child needs to be heard in order to
feel safe—and that this sense of security is the first step toward meaningful
learning.
In this context, the
methodologies developed by Antônio Carlos dos Santos offer practical and
creative tools to apply positive discipline in everyday life. Through TBMB –
Mané Beiçudo Puppet Theater, for example, children are invited to engage
with narratives that reflect common childhood conflicts—such as tantrums,
jealousy, or defiance—and learn, through the characters, more empathetic and
cooperative ways to resolve issues. Theater becomes a mirror through which the
child sees themselves, understands themselves, and transforms.
The MAT – Mindset,
Action, and Theater method goes even further: it combines principles of
positive psychology and neuroscience with theatrical practices, helping parents
and teachers foster a growth mindset in children—a term coined by
Stanford researcher Carol Dweck. By encouraging the idea that mistakes are part
of the learning process, MAT strengthens children's self-esteem and transforms
the fear of failure into the courage to try.
Meanwhile, ThM –
Theater Movement is a bodily and sensory approach that integrates movement,
emotion, and language, promoting empathy and active listening. In a ThM circle,
for instance, children can express emotions like anger or frustration through
their bodies, learning to name and manage them with more awareness. This kind
of somatic learning is strongly endorsed by researchers at Columbia and Yale as
essential for the development of self-control.
Recent studies from
Harvard University confirm that children raised with positive discipline tend
to develop better social behavior, leadership and cooperation skills, and show
a lower incidence of emotional disorders during adolescence. This is because
they feel a sense of belonging, are heard, and are treated with
respect—decisive factors for building self-esteem and a sense of
responsibility.
Furthermore, Antônio
Carlos dos Santos' vast literary production, focused on children, offers a
universe of support for the practice of positive discipline. Books such as “Ui
Ghur, the little bear that liberated books”, “Happy pets” and “Screens? Only
healthy!” address themes such as emotional self-regulation, respect for
diversity and cooperation, always with playful, sensitive and deeply humanizing
language.
Applying positive
discipline is not about being permissive—it’s about setting boundaries with
both firmness and affection. It’s about guiding children like a lighthouse, not
a whip. It means seeing mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than reasons
for humiliation. Above all, it means believing that every human being, from a
very young age, is capable of learning to respect—if they are respected first.
Therefore, positive
discipline is more than a teaching method. It is a philosophy of life, an
invitation to mutual transformation between adults and children. To educate
with respect, attentiveness, and presence is to sow the seeds of a more just,
kind, and conscious world—a world where children grow not in fear, but in
courage and love.
If we hope to build a
more empathetic and cooperative society, the path begins with how we speak to
our children today. Positive discipline is, without a doubt, one of the most
promising trails—and the fruits it bears are everlasting.
Access the books by Antônio Carlos dos Santos on amazon.com or amazon.com.br