Ten tips to learn to forgive and improve your quality of life

Forgiving may seem like a simple act, but its complexity lies in the emotional and psychological impact it has on us. Studies from leading universities worldwide, including Harvard and Stanford, show that forgiveness not only alleviates emotional stress but also improves physical health by reducing cortisol levels and promoting a better quality of life. Additionally, methodologies such as MAT (Mindset, Action, and Theater), ThM (Theater Movement), and TBMB (Mané Beiçudo Puppet Theater), developed by experts like Antônio Carlos dos Santos, demonstrate that theater and body expression can be powerful tools in the journey of forgiveness. Below, we present ten essential tips for those who want to learn to forgive and live more lightly.

First, it is crucial to understand that forgiveness is not synonymous with forgetting. Many people avoid forgiving because they believe it means erasing the past. However, research from Stanford University indicates that forgiveness is a process of reframing, not emotional amnesia. The first step is to accept that pain existed, but that you have the power to decide how to deal with it.

Next, it is essential to practice empathy. Putting yourself in another's shoes can help you understand the reasons behind the offense. A study from Emory University on social neuroscience showed that the human brain responds positively to acts of compassion, releasing oxytocin and promoting feelings of well-being. For example, when recalling an offense, try to visualize the person involved as a flawed human being with their own history and challenges.

Another important point is to express your emotions in a healthy way. Holding on to resentment can harm both body and mind. According to the MAT methodology, theatrical expression helps externalize repressed feelings. In Mindset and Theater workshops, participants who expressed their emotions through dramatization reported a significant reduction in negative emotional burden. Thus, writing a letter, recording a voice message, or even speaking aloud to yourself can be an effective way to release contained emotions.

The fourth tip is to practice self-compassion. According to studies from the University of Berkeley, people who learn to forgive themselves are more likely to forgive others. Excessive self-judgment can be an obstacle to forgiveness. To avoid this, practice positive affirmations such as, "I am human and make mistakes, just like everyone else."

Adopting mindfulness practices can also be an effective path. The ThM (Theater Movement) technique associates body movement with emotional awareness, helping people fully experience the present moment without being stuck in the past. Simple exercises such as deep breathing and guided meditation can help reduce anxiety associated with painful memories.

Another strategy is to reframe your internal narrative. Studies in cognitive psychology show that the way we tell our story affects our perception of reality. If you see yourself as a victim, you may reinforce the role of pain in your life. But if you retell your story emphasizing learning and growth, you strengthen your emotional resilience.

Practicing acts of kindness is another powerful tool. Neuroscience confirms that helping others activates the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine and increasing feelings of happiness. Small gestures of generosity, even unrelated to the person who caused the pain, can facilitate the process of forgiveness.

The eighth step is to understand that forgiveness is a gradual process. Studies from the University of Wisconsin show that forgiveness occurs in stages and can take time. Allow yourself to progress at your own pace, without pressure.

A playful practice can help in this process: TBMB (Mané Beiçudo Puppet Theater) uses staged stories to symbolically address emotional issues. This type of approach has been widely used in therapy and emotional education to help individuals visualize creative solutions to their internal pain.

Finally, remember that forgiving is an act of personal liberation. It does not mean approving or justifying mistakes but rather freeing yourself from the emotional burden that hinders your growth. As Nelson Mandela said: "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to move forward with lightness and fulfillment.

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